It is odd how much our tastes can change. One day you like this, years later you like something much better.
I used to fancy him so much. Now I don’t.
I used to be attracted to his features, to his playful way of talking and now..I don’t feel those things anymore.
I used to found appealing the way is lips curved into a smooth arch when he smiled, but now I can only see the wrinkles on his forehead instead. It’s not that he is old, but he got older, more tired and mature in a way I don’t find that attractive.
Before, his chit chat was fun, now it is just useless noise. His ritualistic teasing was more glamorous than it is now, still a habit both of us cannot get rid of, but habit that doesn’t brings me so much joy as it used to.
What I really charrised about him, was his passion. If he had passion, for ANYTHING, he was like a magnet. He was able to instantly get your attention. The fire in his eyes, the liveliness in his voice were prepossessing, charming and definitely sticking.
He changed and I changed. Things are now so different for me.
I crave different things. Years have passed and now I seek connection, meaningful conversations, subjects that matter! I seek the truth, the realness.
What I still feel when I am with him, is the safety you feel next to someone you have grown up with. But it isn’t enough, doesn’t it?
I am happy that I am in this position, right here, right now. That finally the feelings I have fought so much, are now gone, forever. It is odd and liberating.
I have finally moved on.