Today I should feel happy. And only happy. But I don’t. Even though I feel somehow thrilled of this new beginning I can’t deny myself the need of remembering that this new beginning is taking place only because there has been an end.
This context of an ending and a new beginning is somehow always presented in a happier note. But every coin has two sides, so even if you are looking only to one side, the other side is still there just as alive and real as the one you are supposedly seeing.
The fact is that I cannot feel genuinely happy.
He died too soon.
And I, miss him way too much! I miss everything about him.
As much as I am excited for this new friendships, I cannot just get over the fact that I lost another one.
We shared 7 amazing years; and now as I reflect upon what he meant to me and on how our time together was way to short, I also realise that 7 is the perfect number.
And indeed, he was perfect in every aspect. He was perfect for me. From day one to day to day 2677.
I want to believe that my new friend will bring me just as much joy as he did, but I cannot believe in this if I don’t also admit that these two happinesses will never be the same. I don’t want to draw over an already made picture. I want to start a new piece of art, on a new page, with new colours and new pencils and new everything.
Joey, I will love you until the end of time and my heart will expend over time,just like the Universe does, and so will my love for you.